Destined?

Okay?
So I have a feeling I have been chosen to change the world... To be destined to do something great, big... HUGE. But why? Why me? Everyday I stare into space and wonder, I dream about the end of the world and what i must do to stop it. But I'm a sixteen year old girl. With an average life. I go to school, I have friends, I have leisure activities I do and now I have to save the world. It isn't easy. I feel like I can no longer get close to anyone because I may have to leave them soon. I can't 'kick' anyone out of my life, nor will I ever want to. I want to meet people and I feel that is the only way of doing this but I am finding it hard to talk to people, little alone meet them. I wish I was outgoing and pretty and maybe then I would have a chance of changing the world. But since I'm not someone else should take my place.

Poored my heart out

I have had enough. I want to be heard. I want to SCREAM at the top of my lungs. Are you all stupid? whats wrong with you all? What you are doing is wrong. I need to have a serious chat with everyone in this world. The bullying has to stop. What gives you the right to bully someone? Do you think your better than them? Is it because they are shy or not so smart? What is it? You know whats wrong with you, you want power and your living in STEREOTYPING! It wont get you anywhere. You want friends say hello whats up? Not why are you wearing that? you look ugly? Give someone a compliment and they will cherish it for a very long time. SEARCH for people! I will pump everything i know and want into everyone i come across that you cant help but do it to other people! I will spread Gods word, write books about my experiences, feed people, stop poverty, stop traviking and my name will be heard everywhere over the globe. But i will be put in danger of critism and being assasinated for what i want to do because people dont want to change. But i wont stop until the WHOLE WORLD HEARS! What gives you the right to kill another person? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! TELL ME! LET ME HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! I dont care about what a jury or a family member is going to tell me! I want to know from the killers why they did it!

How can people not believe in God but believe in love? They say they dont believe God because they cant see him but you cant see love either but you know its there

What else can i say? What can i do to allow you to help me with my desires? What can i do to help you?

-Taz

2Love Church

Okay, okay, okay. So i just had 2Love church (18th of June 2010) and it was awesomicated. It really got me thinking, especially about becoming an internship when i leave school, Mexico and being a speaker. So everytime i listen to music i pretend im doing a speach somewhere with the song playing in the background, but since its a daydream they sortof sound kindof stupid and i never finish. I stand there and i talk for ages and i pump the message of God into whoever im talking to.

I know this wouldnt be true because most of the time i day dream it being my high school and if i did ever do it i would probably be critisised and the kids would be talking, bored, laughing etc. But in my daydream they are quiet and all i can hear is me. I'm getting the word across and I'm telling them about my missions and goals.

I just thought i would share that with you. toodles :D

Encouraged?

Okay, so I posted part of a song on my facebook
(I'm gonna be a history maker in this land,
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind,
I'm gonna stand, and I'm gonna run,
Into your arms, into your arms again,
Into your arms, into your arms again

History Maker chorus-hillsong)

and I had a long convosation with a man I met in Melbourne when I went there for insane with the salvation army in January.

I inspired him and he kept telling me to keep praying

I said things like

I didn't join the salvos until 08 when I was going to kill myself that summer, I had, had enough. Then I found what I really want to do with my life which is found in this song. I want to be a primary school teacher for 3rd world countries. I want to be a history maker, I want to be a speaker, I want to change the world

Begin your own chain reaction. Start with 1 person then tell them to tell someone else. But dont stop at 1 keep telling more people to tell other people. That reminds me of the song: until the whole world hears by casting crowns. Tell people to look around them. Search for the lost and broken, you may have to look very hard or you may need to look no further than across the room.

I get very emotional, angry, inspirational and wise when I talk about what I want to do because I want a better world than this.

I hate it when people say i'll start when i'm older or what can I do. Prayer is what you can do. I feed homeless people and I stopped a man from bleeding to death because I prayed to god and said lead who is broken, hurt and lost to me. Bring them to me and I will not turn anyone away. I tell people about God whether they are strangers or friends. I'm not afraid to be persecuted for what I do and believe in. I pray for everyone.



Yeah i know what your all thinking: How can that come out of a 16year olds mind? I understand that teenagers these days are more confusing, angry, scared, broken, hurt etc then any other year but doesn't that represent that we are doing something wrong.

I've only just become friends with a girl in my year and im starting to hear her story. Shes a beautiful girl and if you look at her you would think: what can be wrong in her life. Well i'm not going to say what is wrong with her because i dont have her permission but i know she needs God and she needs help and i want to reach out to her like no one else has. I want to hear her and i want to know her more. I want to be the one who leads her to Christ and heal her heart.

Thats it from this blog but i hope that you are all encouraged and are willing to step out of your boundary in which you love. But step out, walk as far away as you can to help the world that needs you

-Taz

I Spoke To Jesus

I went to a Easter Camp with the salvation army. We went to a place called CYC in Baldivis in Perth and Saturday night (3rd of April) I spoke to Jesus.

When Rowan Castle (a preacher) told us to think of a place and let it be just you and jesus there. I was at the tree top walk in walpol and i met jesus there and i asked him what is wrong with me? why am i so depressed and unhappy all the time? why did you make me like this? and he said i didnt i made you a perfect, beautiful, little girl and thats the way you are. there is nothing wrong with you and i love you for being you. and then we hugged and then he was gone.

In A World So Cold

It starts with pain
Followed by hate
Fueled by the endless questions
No one can answer
A stain
Covers your heart
Tears you apart just like a sleeping cancer

Now I don't believe men are born to be killers
I don't believe this world can't be saved
How did you get here and when did it start
An innocent child with a thorn in his heart
What kind of world to we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feelings
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold

Are you sane?
Where's the shame
A moment of time passes by
You cannot rewind
Who's blame and where did it start
Is there a cure for your sickness, have you no heart?

Now I don't believe men are born killers
I don't believe the world can't be saved
How did you get here and when did it start
An innocent child with a thorn in his heart
What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feeling
We're dreaming this life away
What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Selling our souls for no reason
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold

There's a sickness inside you that wants to escape
It's a feeling you get when you can't find your way
So how many times must you fall to your knees
Never, never, never, never, never do this again
It starts with pain followed by hate

Now I don't believe men are born to be killers
And I don't believe this world can't be saved
What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feelings
We're dreaming this life away
What kind of world do we live in
Where love is divided by hate
Selling our souls for no reason
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold
In a world so cold

three days grace

I Am A Beautiful Person

Refrain:
I am a beautiful person
I am a part of all that is
I welcome the wonders of creation
And the magical gifts it gives

I can not love you if I hate myself
I can not give to you if I am poor
I can not heal the world if I have no health
I can not bring you peace by bringing you war

REFRAIN

I am the lion that I saw in my dream
I unleash the hidden power in me
I am the universe just beyond my eyes
That I am only beginning to see

REFRAIN

I am a joyful emotion
Too huge to be contained in me
I spark across the mountains and the oceans
To the edges of the galaxy

TRILE REFRAIN

Rilee O'neill

Together We Can Change The World

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
I believe it’s not too late
Together we can change the world.
Lay the puzzle pieces out
Find out what it’s all about
Together we can change the world

Refrain:
Can’t do it by myself
So I’m asking for your help
Together we can change the world
Sail past where it’s been charted
Roll your sleeves up, let’s get started
Together we can change the world
Together we can change the world

With our hands and with our hearts
We can dare to make a start
Together we can change the world
What if we spoke with one voice,
Knowing that we have a choice?
Together we can change the world

REFRAIN

Change your mind and change your life
Set aside the fear and strife
Together we can change the world
When we open up our eyes
Then we start to realize
Together we can change the world

REFRAIN 2x

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
I believe it’s not too late
Together we can change the world.

Rilee O'Neill

Year 8 And 9

Ever been in that moment where your mind screams "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?" Thats what i feel right now my heart doesn’t want to be lonely anymore I don’t want to be smiling in my friends shadows anymore I know I crave attention but I cant help it I try but still I’ll laugh at what Jess laughs at I’ll like whatever she likes when she’s around. When I’m with Tahlia I’m completely different I’m living in the shadows, I’m getting to the stage where I don’t care anymore. Hate me? Go ahead join the line of people who would love to tear strips off me if you love me then tell me because I don’t really feel like I’m here no more I’m so tired of smiling when id rather be CRYING. I don’t go to sleep cursing other people for what they’ve done, all the names I get called all the stupid little comments "kill yourself faster" "she’s a ugly fat slut" "go cut emo kid" ever heard sticks and stoned may break her bones but words could make her starve herself to death? I smile while all of you guys are watching but when you turn your backs for even a second I’m trying to stop from crying

I wrote that in year 8, I wrote a lot of things in year 8 but this is one of them. I began to think I was a mistake, I’m a freak, I’m ugly, I’m fat, if I kill myself no one would care, this is never going to stop, I’m going to die from my own starvation and everyone hated me. I understand that I had to go threw that to help people, so I can tell them I was nearly bullied to death for 2 years and I survived it. It might have damaged my self esteem and happiness for the rest of my life, but I wouldn’t be Taz with out my negative ways. If only you were in my computer class last year. Me and jess j would sit there reading cyanide and happiness, playing pacman and talking about random shit the whole time. We would fight over chairs and we would chase each other around the room. That’s the real me, that’s rarely there but you did leave a piece of me for me to grow back.